Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields

Brooke Shields on postnatal depression, and being told it was just the baby blues

Content note — this story covers a subject some people would rather choose when to read.

In May 2007 Brooke Shields spoke at a press conference in Washington DC in support of a proposed American law on postnatal depression, which would have put federal money into education, detection and treatment. She used it to describe what had happened to her after the birth of her daughter. The worst of it, she said, was that she did not know what she had. She could not hold her baby, or look at her, or kiss her, or sing to her. If she stayed close to her she went weak at the knees and felt she might faint. She cried constantly. And still it did not occur to her that this was postnatal depression, because that was not something that was going to happen to her. What she had instead was a conclusion. She had made a terrible mistake, she was an incapable mother, and her daughter and her husband and everyone around her would be better off without her. She was clear about how it felt from the inside: not dramatic, not hysterical — clear and rational, the obvious thing to do. She had begun to think about ending her life. She described an early appointment where a doctor asked how she was doing and she told him the truth: that she could not do this, that she had changed her mind, that the baby could not stay with her, and would he please help her not do this. She said she was told it would be fine, that his wife had been through the same thing, that it was the baby blues and hormones, and that it would pass soon. She was told not to worry. She went on to write a book about it and to campaign for the condition to be taken seriously. Six years later, in an interview with Marlo Thomas, she came back to the same ground. The most frightening part, she said, was looking at her daughter and feeling nothing at all — feeling she could walk out of the room and never come back and the baby would be better off. She said depression is persuasive because it is tailored to the person it happens to: you ask yourself the questions and you get back answers that sound true. And she said the reason it stays unspoken is shame. We are told that having a child and loving it is the most natural thing in the world, so a mother who does not feel that assumes she has failed rather than that she is ill. What she wanted from saying it out loud, in both, was that a woman going through it should not believe she is the only one it has ever happened to. Nothing here is medical advice. The NHS says postnatal depression is common and usually gets better with treatment, and that you should speak to a GP, midwife or health visitor if you think you may have it — even if only some of the signs fit.

• Postnatal depression